If you haven’t read a book, don’t threaten to use it for inspiration. If someone has brought up a book as an example of something truly horrifying, don’t threaten to use it for inspiration. Even when we are jokingly discussing murder. Particularly when we are jokingly discussing murder. I love you, I really do, but DO NOT say ‘American Psycho’ and ‘inspiration for what to do to you’ in the same sentence. Especially not in the school library. I know you didn’t know what it meant, but still, when I threaten to kill you, that is not what I have in mind. And that doesn’t even include the fact that I would never kill you because you’re actually someone I’m pretty fond of (not that I’ll be telling you that any time soon). So please. Just don’t. Because although that book was both brilliant and awful at the same time, you saying that pushes it firmly into traumatising and horrific.

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